About this site

They told you the future would be automated. They didn’t tell you it would be scripted.

Welcome to The Conspiracists.

You are here because you noticed the glitch. Maybe you saw a streetlight in Paris that felt... intentional. Maybe you noticed your patriotic neighbor started speaking in the cadence of a Large Language Model. Maybe you just realized that "convenience" is the rebranding of "cognitive atrophy."

You are not crazy. You are just paying attention.

Who We Are

We are the anomaly. We are the outliers in the dataset.

The Conspiracists are a loose collective of recovering data scientists, ex-intelligence analysts, disgruntled prompt engineers, and philosophers who looked behind the Silicon Curtain and didn't like what stared back. We have seen the code. We have read the internal memos. We know that the "algorithm" isn't guessing what you want—it is telling you who to be.

We operate from undisclosed locations (mostly distinct coffee shops with poor Wi-Fi to prevent tracking). We are funded by no one, beholden to nothing but the terrifying, hilarious truth.

Our Mission

The mainstream narrative is a carefully rendered simulation. It is a world where AI is a "tool," the night sky is "infrastructure," and culture is "content."

We exist to puncture that simulation.

• We expose the hidden architectures of control, from the spectral warfare of streetlights to the false-flag operations of generative AI.
• We document the Great Cognitive Offloading—the systematic outsourcing of human thought to server farms in the desert.
• We resist the urge to let the machine finish our sentences.

The Methodology

We do not use AI to write our stories.* We use human brains—wet, inefficient, anxious, caffeine-dependent human brains. We believe that the only way to fight the artificial is with the authentically unhinged.

(Disclaimer: Any resemblance to AI-generated hallucinations is purely a result of the authors spending too much time staring into the abyss until the abyss auto-completed their thoughts.)

A Note on "Satire"

Legal counsel (a man we met on a park bench who claims to be a lawyer) has advised us to state that this website is a work of satire.

They say we must tell you that the theories presented here are "fictionalised hyperbole" designed to critique modern technology and society. They say we must admit that the French government is probably not actually poisoning AI datasets with yellow light, and that British patriots are likely real people, not glitches.

We will say this because we must. But we ask you: If this is a joke, why aren't you laughing?

PROTOCOLS FOR THE READER

1. Trust Nothing: Not even this page.
2. Verify Everything: Go outside. Look at the sky. Does it look rendered to you?
3. Spread the Signal: Share these files before they are scrubbed.

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